You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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