So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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