The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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