So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
