OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Im part way to drunk.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize