His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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