Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
This toilet bowl is my home.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
