I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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