I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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