my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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