I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
