I just saw a hot homeless man
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize