Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
