East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
