Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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