Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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