Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry inaya hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs

Fav 5 1807 821
share tweet
(510): View more from California

watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up

Fav 21 743 3212
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.

Fav 20 3013 1381
share tweet
(619): View more from California

Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.

Fav 27 1839 6822
share tweet
(740): View more from Ohio

I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.

Fav 6 2672 1190
share tweet
(574): View more from Indiana

Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool

Fav 7 896 1654
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(216): View more from Ohio

I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair

Fav 6 969 1784
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.

Fav 2 523 948
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(405): View more from Oklahoma

So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.

Fav 1 19 35
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT