so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
