It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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