i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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