my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
