Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
