You were right. It hurts to walk today.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
