Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
