Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
