Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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