She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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