some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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