The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
