the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
