Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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