Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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