OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
