I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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