ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
