Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
