Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize