I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
