you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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