Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
