yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
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Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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