I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
