Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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