I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
