i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
