I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
