We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize