Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
