Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
