They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
