it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
