I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
