i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i think im in europe. pls send help
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
