He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
