do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
