do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize