Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
no, he came in my armpit
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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