So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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