Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
